File this under “We had no idea this was a thing.”
Today (May 11) marks National Eat What You Want Day. This most hallowed day in our nation’s history was created by Thomas and Ruth Roy of www.wellcat.com as a way to break free of those pesky diets and health food trends that tend to rule our everyday lives, even if for only one day. And we thank them for that.
The Roys actually have a whole litany of similar ‘holidays’ on their website. There’s Cat Herders’ Day in December ( “If you can say that your job, or even your life, is like trying to herd cats, then this day is for you, with our sympathy.”), Curling is Cool Day in February (“Offer up a worldwide embrace for an Olympic sport the entire family can play! If you don’t get it, you ain’t cool.”), and International Moment of Frustration Scream Day in October (“To share any or all of our frustrations, all citizens of the world will go outdoors at twelve hundred hours Greenwich time and scream for thirty seconds. We will all feel better, or Earth will go off its orbit. Co-sponsored by Low Thresholders of the Earth League.”).
That last one is pretty close to the Airing of the Grievances during Festivus, actually.
Regardless, ignore that attempt to lose the Quarantine Quarter (TM pending), grab a chili dog, chase it with a milkshake, and chow down on that mountain of fried rice for dinner. And then celebrate National WHERE ARE THE TUMS I NEED ALL THE TUMS Day tomorrow. Also trademark pending.